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Hey Legend,

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you can’t shake off that nagging self-doubt and anxiety?

It’s frustrating.

Your mindset, that default way of thinking about things, might be the culprit here.

Let’s dig into this a bit.

When you’re stuck in a fear-based mindset, it’s like living in a cage of your own making.

This affects not just your emotional health but also your overall well-being.

Anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant feeling of inadequacy can take over, leaving you paralyzed and unable to move forward.

Imagine missing out on opportunities, relationships, and experiences simply because you couldn’t muster the confidence to step up.

That’s the real cost of not addressing your mindset.

4 Mindset Shifts That Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence

1. Shift your expectations from idealistic to realistic

Have you ever been let down by someone because your expectations were too high?

I’ve been there.

Unrealistic expectations can set you up for a cycle of disappointment and resentment.

Instead, align your expectations with reality.

For example, if you know your partner historically doesn’t do much housework, adjust your expectations and communicate clearly.

This reduces frustration and builds the courage to assert your needs.

So, anytime you find yourself getting frustrated or resentful, use it as a cue to check in on your expectations, and if at all possible, update them to be more realistic.

2. Shift your judgments from moral to mechanical

Don’t moralize things that aren’t moral.

Judge actions mechanically, not morally.

When you’re in the habit of judging things

—including yourself

—in moral terms (right versus wrong, good versus bad), it’s easy to end up moralizing about things that aren’t moral.

This results in an extra layer of guilt or shame that’s both unnecessary and confidence-killing.

For instance, if you catch yourself worrying, remind yourself that it’s just your brain doing its thing, not a moral failing.

There’s a time and place for moral judgments. But if you want to feel more confident and resilient, be careful not to moralize things that aren’t moral.

3. Shift Your Criticism from People to Actions

Criticize actions, not people, to foster growth and confidence.

Criticism is necessary for growth, but it’s crucial to target behaviors rather than individuals.

This approach helps you give constructive feedback without feeling anxious or insecure.

For example, instead of criticizing yourself for being nosy, remind yourself to be thoughtful with your feedback, focusing on specific actions rather than your character.

In short, be careful with criticism, including self-criticism.

One simple way to distinguish whether your criticism might be helpful vs unhelpful is whether you’re criticizing a specific behavior or action vs an entire person. In other words, don’t overgeneralize with your criticisms.

4. Shift Your Focus from Thoughts and Feelings to Behavior

Action over analysis—change your behavior to see real results.

It’s challenging to think your way out of anxiety or insecurity.

Instead, commit to small behavior changes.

This could mean speaking up in meetings despite feeling inadequate or attending social events even if you’re nervous.

These actions will gradually build your confidence and reshape how you see yourself.

So here’s the mindset shift:

Instead of: “If only I felt X, I could do Y.”

Try this: “I can do Y despite not feeling X.”

Use these Mindset Shifts to boost your Confidence. 😎

Stay Elevated

~ Elevated Path

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